Do You Want to Start a Tab?

00:00:00:02 - 00:00:16:09
Carl
Everyone in the service industry has a story. Crazy customers, wild orders and WITF moments. Do you want to start a tab? The podcast here to bring you those tales from behind the bar. My name is Carl. I've been bartending for almost 11 years now. I have some stories to share with the world.

00:00:16:14 - 00:00:23:21
Riley
I'm Riley and I haven't bartended that long, but I have some experience and I enjoy watching and hearing all of the stories.

00:00:24:05 - 00:00:37:00
Carl
It is 8:23 a.m. on a monday morning, so my voice is very raspy from doing a podcast last night on an episode for someone else. And I've been up since 4 a.m. for some stupid reason.

00:00:37:09 - 00:00:38:12
Riley
And bartending all.

00:00:38:12 - 00:00:59:13
Carl
Weekend and bartending all weekend. So I'm going to sound a little raspy. I apologize, but we move forward because our guest requested that we do this at eight in the morning because he's a busy man. He's a he's a fellow bartender. His name is Noam. He has a YouTube channel called Nome's Tavern, and he is located in New Orleans.

00:00:59:15 - 00:01:04:16
Carl
How are you? How are you doing? To day know who are I really?

00:01:04:16 - 00:01:10:13
Gnome
The Mad Men. Also, because I've been bartending Mardi Gras, Right? Doing that.

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Carl
Yeah. I think it's I think you're you get the A for effort and execution and I get like candy for execution effort here in Iowa.

00:01:19:13 - 00:01:26:16
Gnome
So I'm like yeah I get to just go do I was like, oh, go ahead.

00:01:27:00 - 00:01:27:09
Carl
Go ahead.

00:01:27:16 - 00:01:31:18
Gnome
Yeah. Cause, you know, it's like, yeah, I have a little bit of time on Monday, girl. And you're like, What is one degree?

00:01:32:00 - 00:01:33:20
Carl
Yeah, I know what that was.

00:01:33:20 - 00:01:34:05
Riley
No.

00:01:34:08 - 00:01:38:18
Carl
Yeah. See, like us in Iowa don't really know. Explain to people, you know, I.

00:01:38:18 - 00:01:43:23
Riley
Mean, I think the only thing that we really get up here as far as Mardi Gras goes, is Fat Tuesday.

00:01:44:04 - 00:01:47:04
Carl
Right? But no, it's something this is something different. You saying?

00:01:47:09 - 00:01:52:17
Riley
Oh, I'm aware. I'm just saying as far as Mardi Gras goes, that's the only information that we have.

00:01:52:20 - 00:02:11:03
Gnome
Yeah. Yeah. So Mardi Gras in New Orleans starts January six, and it is a party all the way till Fat Tuesday. And Lundi Gras is like Mardi Gras Eve where there's a bunch of parties set up for the for tomorrow, Fat Tuesday, right.

00:02:11:15 - 00:02:18:23
Carl
Lucky you. Have fun. Don't die. But I bet you make some pretty good bank during that time, right?

00:02:19:11 - 00:02:23:16
Gnome
Yeah. That is funding three vacations right now. So nice.

00:02:24:22 - 00:02:25:14
Carl
That's awesome.

00:02:25:21 - 00:02:27:02
Riley
Is it worth it, though?

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Gnome
Yeah, it's pretty fun. You get some crazy people. I have a really funny story. I can't wait to tell you, but you get some crazy people and iron bars. Great show. It's not. It's not super bad.

00:02:40:18 - 00:02:59:03
Carl
Cool. Yeah. It always makes life a little easier when you work out a little cooler spot than, like, that just dive bar. Not even a dive or just like, a speed bar. Like, you know, where it's just volume. Volume bar. Yeah. So. Yeah. So. Yeah. Are you drinking anything this morning at 830 in the morning or maybe ten.

00:02:59:05 - 00:03:05:05
Carl
Maybe to your boss. Maybe it's not eight Mean this is 10:00 at night when we're recording this.

00:03:05:05 - 00:03:11:00
Gnome
I, I'm doing the patients bitters because I had to keep the New Orleans classic alive. You know.

00:03:11:00 - 00:03:27:22
Carl
What? We are going to join you in that because we never did a shot of this usually or Angostura Bitters shot. But this is for New Orleans and for cheeses. Cheers, boys. Girls. Yes, It is so much different.

00:03:29:01 - 00:03:29:17
Riley
There's so many.

00:03:30:00 - 00:03:34:22
Carl
There's definitely some in these. And that bad boy.

00:03:34:22 - 00:03:35:10
Gnome
It's.

00:03:35:16 - 00:03:43:20
Carl
Good. It's it's different because, like, I'm so used to anger stories just dries out your mouth. So, I mean, I'm guessing this isn't complex, but that you know but.

00:03:44:07 - 00:03:49:13
Riley
I don't think Anglos that complex because it's it's Christmas spices but dry.

00:03:50:11 - 00:03:50:21
Carl
True.

00:03:51:01 - 00:03:52:11
Riley
This one was more complex.

00:03:52:11 - 00:03:55:03
Gnome
But this is like muted absinthe, right?

00:03:55:22 - 00:03:57:01
Riley
It's exactly what that is.

00:03:58:09 - 00:04:10:23
Carl
All right. And then we're also drinking some actual coffee with some Mr. Black and a little bit of cream. And just to say why not? Because I think up to this, we're going to film some a mr. Black episode for our our YouTube channel. So.

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Gnome
Yeah. Oh, it's free.

00:04:13:02 - 00:04:36:19
Carl
So for if you're joining us for the first time, what we do here is we like to read stories off the Internet and discuss those stories about bartenders, bartenders, lives and just discuss who's the asshole. Could this story been handled differently and just have some fun? And then we write the story one through five, one being an average story, five being a complex or a very unique situation.

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Carl
I don't we've had a 4.5. We haven't had a five yet.

00:04:40:09 - 00:04:43:03
Riley
So yes, if you have if you have five, submit them.

00:04:43:03 - 00:04:45:21
Carl
Please write. If you think get a five. Right.

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Riley
Do you have any stories? Submit them please. But especially the wild ones.

00:04:50:17 - 00:05:03:07
Carl
Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So. And you can do that on our subreddit page. Do you want to start a tab? You can find a link for that in the description of whatever podcast platform you are on or the YouTube channels. Right. Do you have a story for us today?

00:05:03:10 - 00:05:06:15
Riley
I do have a saathi. Demba. Ba ba ba ba.

00:05:06:17 - 00:05:07:06
Gnome
You're welcome.

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Riley
I do have a story. Want to start us out? And I got to tell you, just from the title alone, the story is going to get a one.

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Gnome
Because it's.

00:05:19:11 - 00:05:21:03
Riley
Because it's so common.

00:05:21:07 - 00:05:30:09
Carl
But I mean, that's I mean, that's bartender life, right? Like it's just like you can probably really don't like a lot of stories like this. The same story just a different color painted on the page.

00:05:30:11 - 00:06:02:08
Riley
Yeah but it's but it's entertaining just the same so it's called are you hitting on my husband? Remember? I'm the one who tips you posted by I see ad 176, 722 days ago and bartender Sorry, subreddit. Okay, so I'm bartending, obviously. And there's three and there's the older dudes all from different groups. And I jokingly go, I guess is only good looking guys in here.

00:06:02:08 - 00:06:20:21
Riley
Ha ha ha ha. As if I'm just trying to crack a joke and be nice. This weasel of a human being goes and tells his wife I was hitting on him or some shit. Mind you, she's the last tab of doing a long ass night. Come storming up to me. Excuse me. Did you hit on my husband? I reply, laughing.

00:06:20:21 - 00:06:40:22
Riley
At first I thought it was a joke. I don't even remember who your husband is. I froze out of bewilderment and exhaustion. She goes, Just remember, I'm the one who tips you lmao I literally just walk away. My bar back stepped in and goes, I was with her all night and she never did anything inappropriate. I don't know what your husband is saying to you.

00:06:40:22 - 00:06:56:06
Riley
LMA Oh, what the fuck? Then I looked at the receipts and she had previously already left under 20% before the awkward rebuttals. Keep your $5, Karen. Sorry. You're paying for his dad's. You should have picked a better dude. Not my problem.

00:06:56:06 - 00:07:13:08
Carl
Yeah, that's. I never been accused of, like, you know, like. Oh, my God, you're hitting on my wife. Stop it. I've never done that before because I'm going to go do it right in front of people. Like, because, you know, I mean, not like like direct that direct. That's not even hitting on. That's just saying a joke. I see jokes like that.

00:07:13:08 - 00:07:18:21
Riley
Yeah, I guess it's only good looking guys in here today, huh? Yeah. That's shit. You say to get more money.

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Gnome
But, I mean, that's what I call the business. The cheers welcome. Where, like, everyone screams Norm. Like, it's just, like. Right. Say, I feel that, all right.

00:07:30:10 - 00:07:40:20
Carl
You're like, when that woman says, Oh, it's my birthday. And then I always go, Oh, how is your 21st 24th birthday today? I don't say 21st. You might say 24th. I mean, just give me the answer.

00:07:40:21 - 00:07:44:18
Gnome
Yes, sweetie. Guys, you're such a pro at the bar.

00:07:45:09 - 00:07:46:19
Riley
Hitting on everybody.

00:07:47:19 - 00:07:51:03
Carl
You know I don't have tits or I'm not good looking, so I have to try hard.

00:07:51:04 - 00:07:51:10
Gnome
I mean.

00:07:51:14 - 00:08:05:23
Riley
My kids aren't even that big, but I got two kids of this shit every fucking day when I was a server. Really? Yeah. Because I'm nice to you and making eye contact with you, like. I don't know. Do you want me to tell you the specials? Your wife is glaring at me from the minute I walked up to the bars.

00:08:05:23 - 00:08:08:07
Riley
I'm going to talk to you because at least you're kind of smiling.

00:08:08:23 - 00:08:18:12
Carl
It's like you really think I'm trying to take like, okay, I'm going to assume she's in her mid to late twenties, right? Uh, there's no right. I'm just assuming mid twenties.

00:08:18:12 - 00:08:19:14
Riley
Sure. The bartender.

00:08:19:16 - 00:08:28:16
Carl
The bartender? Yeah. And these people are probably in their fifties, Right? Right. It's like, do you really think this bitch is trying to take your husband out of the bar with her? You know, like, come on.

00:08:28:16 - 00:08:28:23
Gnome
Right.

00:08:29:07 - 00:08:36:14
Carl
What? What has your husband done to you? Not like, physically, but, like, maybe. But like, has he cheated on you? Are you so self insecure?

00:08:36:14 - 00:08:40:15
Riley
Why do you feel like you need to piss on the floor to mark your territory right now?

00:08:41:10 - 00:09:01:06
Gnome
Well, that's why. Well, devil's advocate, I think the assholes the husband, because the husband probably went up and went like, Oh yeah, that beautiful girls look me in the eyes and some more like, Tell me the next Beowulf was told to write about.

00:09:01:06 - 00:09:03:07
Carl
Yeah, that's actually a great point. Yeah, that's.

00:09:03:07 - 00:09:03:19
Riley
A good point.

00:09:03:20 - 00:09:04:04
Gnome
Because, like.

00:09:04:09 - 00:09:07:12
Carl
Why does he have to go in, locked it right to go to his buddies.

00:09:07:20 - 00:09:13:13
Riley
Yeah. Mean you do that every day. I had five women at the bar tonight that I could have taken home if I wanted to.

00:09:13:19 - 00:09:28:18
Carl
Well, you know, I know that you're not going to go up to them because you're either going to ask, Can I join or. And. But yeah, I mean, I guess it's different, right? Like it shouldn't it be different? But it is different when it's a male bartender or a female.

00:09:28:18 - 00:09:36:05
Riley
But how toxic is your relationship to start with, to make it, to make you feel like you have to mark your territory that way.

00:09:36:12 - 00:09:48:10
Gnome
But also feeling the sex thing itself, we love it. That's Oh my God. Yeah, We got to have a look. Glass.

00:09:49:17 - 00:10:05:08
Carl
Yeah, man, I. I love your viewpoint on who's the boss on this. Just like, why is he going back? I mean, maybe. Maybe his wife doesn't tell him that he's hot enough, you know, like, you're not handsome enough, you know? And so he's just, like, glad someone said he's good looking and he's just like, I think.

00:10:05:08 - 00:10:23:09
Riley
I think they're a pair of assholes. To be honest with you. I don't think I don't think we can distinguish between the two. I do think he's an asshole because there's something he has done to make her feel insecure in that relationship to the point where he has the where she has to verbally attack a bartender. However, you shouldn't verbally attack people for doing their job.

00:10:23:22 - 00:10:34:20
Riley
Everybody knows that in bartending there is a fine line between flirting and trying to, you know, engage with your customers. And sometimes that line is fuzzy, right, Because of the industry.

00:10:34:22 - 00:10:39:06
Carl
You're right. Are you are you married? No. Or girlfriend? Yes. Married. Okay.

00:10:39:08 - 00:10:40:03
Gnome
Married. Do you?

00:10:40:03 - 00:10:42:22
Carl
Where do you wear your wedding ring while you're at work?

00:10:43:10 - 00:10:46:02
Gnome
Yes, I do. I do. Okay. All right.

00:10:46:06 - 00:11:06:22
Carl
So I'm just asking because I don't oh, I don't actually own a wedding ring, but we have this saying triple A always appear available. Right? You know, like, I wonder if you're available for any one man woman non identify whatever. I'm available for you in any capacity that you think you might need me for.

00:11:07:08 - 00:11:18:13
Gnome
Yeah, that's cool. I read as I read your and his girlfriend have that where she goes. As long as you can buy me a nice dinner, you can flirt as much. Yeah, right.

00:11:18:18 - 00:11:22:17
Riley
You got three feet of bar between you and the person you're flirting with. I don't really care at all.

00:11:23:14 - 00:11:30:23
Gnome
Yeah, but I. I wear my rag because I mostly just forget. It's odd, right? No, I get it.

00:11:30:23 - 00:11:40:23
Carl
But, yeah, I just. I personally just don't like being on my fingers, so it's just like I like. Yeah. So when we first got married where we were before we got married, we talked about it and you were cool with it and I.

00:11:40:23 - 00:11:44:15
Riley
Was trying to get people to leave me alone.

00:11:44:15 - 00:11:45:22
Carl
But you didn't change your last name.

00:11:46:00 - 00:11:49:00
Riley
No shirt. And that's a lot of paperwork.

00:11:49:12 - 00:11:53:04
Gnome
Too. So much. Oh, my gosh. So much paperwork.

00:11:53:07 - 00:11:56:16
Carl
And then she's like, she's like. And when we get a divorce, it's even more.

00:11:56:16 - 00:12:15:03
Riley
Paperwork, right? Because if we were to get a divorce, I'd have to go back to all of those places, try to get copies of my certificates. Well, and then you have to pay $10 for every certificate, like your marriage certificate or your divorce certificate for every copy in, like the Social Security Administration needs their own copy of the driver's license, Asian needs your own copy of your insurance.

00:12:15:03 - 00:12:21:15
Riley
These are own copy that's like it's going to be like 50 bucks. And then you have to pay for all the new cards and stuff. I'm not doing it.

00:12:22:04 - 00:12:22:22
Gnome
Okay.

00:12:22:22 - 00:12:31:13
Carl
So yeah, it's a really big site. We just went on the story, but so the asses we are agreeing are the husband and the wife on the story.

00:12:31:14 - 00:12:37:00
Riley
The couple is about two assholes. They have a toxic relationship that doesn't allow them to have fun, right?

00:12:37:12 - 00:12:41:02
Gnome
Yeah. Because you guys start a lawnmower by pulling straight. Yeah, that's.

00:12:41:02 - 00:12:41:10
Riley
Right.

00:12:41:10 - 00:12:42:23
Gnome
Right, right, right.

00:12:42:23 - 00:13:03:12
Carl
But you are right. This is. This is kind of an average story. Nothing. You know, It always, always makes you point to, like, when the people who like who tell you that they're going to, you know, you're going to take care you or that they're the ones you know, I'm telling you this, they're always the cheap bastards. No matter what you do, you could give them the best like experience in the world, hands down the you and tell you it.

00:13:03:15 - 00:13:05:05
Carl
And then it's like 15%.

00:13:05:08 - 00:13:18:08
Riley
If she was bitchy enough to me and if I. If I was able to think quickly about it because she said, you say it's I might not have been able to rocket it off, but if, if I had thought about it, I'd been like, What do you mean you can have it back? Can I play with your husband then?

00:13:19:04 - 00:13:21:15
Gnome
Yeah. How much will it cost her husband?

00:13:23:05 - 00:13:24:04
Carl
I got a 20 here.

00:13:25:04 - 00:13:32:09
Riley
Can I just pay you? And then, like, we can. We can take this transactional relationship away. And also the husband disappears you off.

00:13:32:19 - 00:13:37:08
Carl
You have another Moscato on the house.

00:13:37:08 - 00:13:45:14
Gnome
I'm at the age right now where I'm like, $5. I will lose that money if I don't have to speak to you right?

00:13:45:14 - 00:13:49:00
Riley
Or or on the flip side, I said, Well, then can I flirt with you?

00:13:49:07 - 00:13:49:13
Gnome
Right.

00:13:49:21 - 00:13:55:09
Riley
And just to see your head explode. Like, either way, my job at that point would have been to make our head explode.

00:13:55:09 - 00:13:56:01
Carl
Yeah. I'm not in the.

00:13:56:01 - 00:14:13:10
Gnome
Guy's that I believe in an asshole tax. I call them Schrodinger's customers where I hate them and love them. Right. I had what I had an open bar yell at me to make a drink better. But she tipped me over $20 at another bar, and I was like, You know what? Yeah, I'll take that. Yelling for a $20.

00:14:13:23 - 00:14:20:15
Gnome
Right, Uncle Sam? Right, right, exactly. So $5.

00:14:20:16 - 00:14:21:23
Carl
No, no, $5.

00:14:22:17 - 00:14:30:15
Riley
There's a there's a there's got to be a good insult to compensation ratio.

00:14:30:15 - 00:14:31:04
Gnome
Exactly.

00:14:31:09 - 00:14:34:11
Carl
So when you start working on that grass. Right. You know.

00:14:34:11 - 00:14:39:14
Riley
And like, like how much could I be degraded for X amount of dollars? What is the balance?

00:14:39:14 - 00:14:41:06
Carl
I'll do a lot for 500.

00:14:41:06 - 00:14:44:21
Gnome
Listen to it that way. That's that's my mortgage.

00:14:45:18 - 00:14:51:07
Carl
If I can if I can take care of my mortgage in one little transaction with the person right. I'll do a little bit.

00:14:51:11 - 00:14:51:18
Riley
Right.

00:14:52:13 - 00:14:52:20
Gnome
Right.

00:14:53:14 - 00:15:00:12
Riley
You give me I mean, all you want for $500.

00:15:00:12 - 00:15:02:23
Gnome
I think there's a progression of that. All right.

00:15:04:03 - 00:15:04:23
Carl
It's called bowling.

00:15:04:23 - 00:15:05:10
Gnome
Fans.

00:15:06:07 - 00:15:08:06
Riley
So it's called being made to call.

00:15:08:06 - 00:15:14:05
Carl
But you're the lucky one. Out of all the millions of people in this world.

00:15:15:11 - 00:15:19:00
Riley
All of the customers you play would be thrilled to have my job.

00:15:19:10 - 00:15:20:21
Gnome
They would say.

00:15:20:22 - 00:15:26:11
Carl
After one day they retire. All right. So, yeah, I give the story or one.

00:15:26:21 - 00:15:29:14
Riley
I'm giving it a one. But it's a funny story anyway.

00:15:30:02 - 00:15:40:19
Carl
Yeah, one one's all around. Like I said, sometimes, you know, I'm not going to say it like it's just going to help me. But yeah, sometimes you just need a one, you know, because it's.

00:15:40:19 - 00:15:41:12
Riley
One cleanser.

00:15:41:16 - 00:15:47:12
Carl
Right? Exactly. It's fun because, like, it's just because this one ragging on those fuckers. Yeah, it happens all the time. It's like, Oh.

00:15:47:22 - 00:15:52:20
Riley
This is a teaching moment. If you have been this person, don't be that person.

00:15:52:20 - 00:15:55:21
Carl
Oh, that's what we see here. Yeah, that's okay.

00:15:55:21 - 00:15:57:00
Gnome
So yeah.

00:15:57:10 - 00:16:07:07
Carl
If you only tip 15%, you're like now you're not allowed to talk down to me at all. Be tip 20%. I can take a little bit of root, but if like 25%.

00:16:07:08 - 00:16:14:17
Riley
If you tip me 20%, I would, I would have accepted this without bitching. But you know, you tip me $5 on probably three drinks for drinks.

00:16:14:22 - 00:16:20:15
Gnome
Mm hmm. I know. Like, what kind of bar was it for $5? I would have been like, No.

00:16:21:05 - 00:16:22:02
Riley
Do you want it back?

00:16:22:09 - 00:16:40:05
Gnome
Like, Yeah, you know, I would. It's either you're not pretty enough to be $5. That's why I would call your husband daddy if he gets 25%.

00:16:40:05 - 00:16:41:23
Carl
All right. That's the first spit take on the.

00:16:42:10 - 00:16:42:18
Gnome
On.

00:16:42:23 - 00:16:48:03
Carl
This podcast so far.

00:16:48:03 - 00:16:50:05
Riley
I would call your husband that if that.

00:16:51:00 - 00:16:52:19
Gnome
Did we get this call?

00:16:52:20 - 00:16:55:05
Riley
You call your husband Daddy, if you just sort of.

00:16:57:23 - 00:17:04:09
Carl
That's how awesome You're just gonna have like one on the right. Like you have to read it for like 10 minutes. Like, wait, what does this shirt say?

00:17:04:09 - 00:17:06:18
Gnome
Like, Oh, okay.

00:17:06:18 - 00:17:08:22
Carl
She's writing this down right now so we don't forget.

00:17:09:23 - 00:17:14:23
Gnome
A great day. Y'all getting saucy. 8 a.m. Now.

00:17:17:08 - 00:17:19:15
Carl
We might have to do our podcast at 8:00.

00:17:21:08 - 00:17:25:13
Gnome
You must work 50 hours and then come on to Seattle. He delivers it all.

00:17:26:19 - 00:17:27:17
Riley
Does it get one.

00:17:27:17 - 00:17:50:14
Carl
Good story to start off with again? If you want to submit your story, do you want to start a tab on our subreddit? We have all the socials, tik-tok, Instagram, YouTube, shorts, YouTube, whatever. We have it all and you can DM us your store if you want. Yep. Email us. Do you want to see our tab? Gmail? I know it's a super long name to type out, but you can spell barely.

00:17:50:17 - 00:17:53:07
Riley
I mean, all of the words are four letters or less, right?

00:17:53:09 - 00:18:05:21
Carl
And it's something we all say at some point or at some write. It said something similar to that. But I'm rambling. I'm rambling. We'll let our guest, Mr. Nome. What are you going to bring the heat today with your story?

00:18:06:06 - 00:18:14:19
Riley
That's the first. Tell us tell us a little bit just a little bit about yourself. Tell us where you work, how long you've been bartending and what you're drinking.

00:18:14:19 - 00:18:25:13
Gnome
So my name's Nome's. I work at a rum distillery that also has a rum bar. I'm the distiller there, slash bartender slash in charge of the menu.

00:18:25:20 - 00:18:26:07
Riley
Nice.

00:18:27:06 - 00:18:58:12
Gnome
Yeah, it's pretty fun. I've been bartending for only two years now. Wow. At this cocktail bar. But I've been in customer service all my life. Yeah, and we make a lot of rum cocktails. We're right at the parade route, so we get all sorts of people that come in and buy story. Today actually happened last Mardi Gras. One of the drinks is a painkiller and this guy walked in with his girlfriend and comes up to the bar and says, Hey, what's a painkiller like?

00:18:58:21 - 00:19:20:08
Gnome
And I'm making a bunch of drinks. I said, Well, do you like cream? And it goes, What? I said, Do you like cream? And he goes, What if you just ask me? I said, Creme de la creme. And he said, You're asked to do that too. Like, what is your problem? It is truth. And they went to the other side of the bar.

00:19:20:15 - 00:19:29:17
Gnome
So I think it says jokey, like who flips out about cream, right? But he asks the other bartender if he could tip him and not tip me.

00:19:31:00 - 00:19:41:05
Riley
So, I mean, that's a that's a valid question. Like, if you don't like if you don't like dairy products in your drinks, like.

00:19:41:17 - 00:19:43:00
Carl
You're not going to like a painkiller.

00:19:43:05 - 00:19:46:08
Riley
Right? Yeah.

00:19:46:08 - 00:19:52:10
Gnome
So what I was a little mad that you over exaggerate, too. I'm like, wow, you're really homophobic, right?

00:19:52:11 - 00:19:56:01
Riley
Well, that is fragile Masculinity addicts finest.

00:19:56:04 - 00:20:03:20
Gnome
Third of all, super stereotypical New Orleanians.

00:20:03:20 - 00:20:08:22
Riley
So Iowans and New Orleanians are not that much different now.

00:20:09:23 - 00:20:28:01
Gnome
I think we're very laissez faire, like we're cool, whatever, you know. But yeah, I was I was I was kind of a little away. It wasn't like mad. It's just like, are you seriously upset and got homophobic over a guy? Asked you what it says? Okay. All right.

00:20:28:01 - 00:20:30:23
Riley
I asked you about an ingredient and you got mad.

00:20:32:05 - 00:20:36:09
Carl
It's not like, okay, Have you seen Zack and Mira make a porno? Yeah, that's a.

00:20:37:05 - 00:20:40:16
Gnome
Creepy, not a bad like for you.

00:20:40:16 - 00:20:48:23
Carl
Like, what the fuck did you just tell me? I mean, I would give you an A-plus slap on the back, a $100 tip. I responded to that question.

00:20:49:00 - 00:20:55:14
Riley
After the second time. He said, What did you say to me? I would have I probably would have got into you into the Zach and Mary quote.

00:20:55:20 - 00:20:56:04
Gnome
Right.

00:20:56:12 - 00:21:01:09
Riley
But I would I would have gone to I said, wait a minute. That had gone to the back, grabbed.

00:21:02:08 - 00:21:03:03
Gnome
Some milk.

00:21:04:09 - 00:21:05:15
Riley
And reenacted the scene.

00:21:06:21 - 00:21:20:14
Gnome
Well, Gallagher yelled out because I would say that kind of loud because this guy. Right. Has told the story a lot. And my coworker goes, Sir, this is a distillery, not a brothel.

00:21:20:14 - 00:21:22:16
Carl
Oh, I got two and one, two and one.

00:21:22:16 - 00:21:23:07
Gnome
Two, two.

00:21:23:12 - 00:21:25:00
Riley
I need to know not to drink. Well, he's.

00:21:27:02 - 00:21:30:00
Carl
So he's literally your your coworker said that. Wow. You said.

00:21:30:23 - 00:21:31:12
Gnome
Awesome.

00:21:32:10 - 00:21:33:08
Carl
God, that's awesome.

00:21:33:19 - 00:21:34:12
Riley
Oh, God.

00:21:34:13 - 00:21:37:17
Carl
So then, like, they got so they just got the one drinking left.

00:21:38:20 - 00:21:46:08
Gnome
Yeah, they got the one drink because again, he thought I was hitting on him. It was just like, Hey, do you want to, like, a handy in the back?

00:21:47:09 - 00:21:48:02
Riley
Did you read.

00:21:49:09 - 00:21:50:20
Gnome
That? Do you know how to read?

00:21:50:22 - 00:22:19:14
Riley
Did you read the menu? Because it says cream on there. Like I'm asking if you like that ingredient and if you like that ingredient, you're going to like this cocktail. I feel like that's pretty self-explanatory. You just get so offended because you are homophobic and your masculinity is so fragile that you're going to shatter if somebody even assumes you might possibly potentially or maybe like dudes.

00:22:19:14 - 00:22:19:23
Gnome
Like I could.

00:22:19:23 - 00:22:26:17
Carl
Maybe I could like, you know, if he's busy and loud and they're like, I can understand. LA What do you say like the first time? Because maybe I didn't hear you say it, but.

00:22:27:00 - 00:22:27:11
Riley
That's why I.

00:22:27:11 - 00:22:31:13
Gnome
Was like, Do you like cream? Like guy?

00:22:32:05 - 00:22:34:01
Carl
I'm a man. Yeah, that's awesome.

00:22:34:02 - 00:22:52:22
Riley
I feel like there should be a wall of shame for every man who gets offended by, like, something like that. So whether it's like being mad about asking if they like cream or they're mad that they got served at Cocktail and a Nick and Nora and this is a bitch drink, there should be a wall of shame. There should be a wall of shame.

00:22:54:09 - 00:22:55:16
Gnome
Oh, my God. Yeah.

00:22:55:19 - 00:22:57:16
Riley
Even pink. I don't want a pink drink.

00:22:57:16 - 00:22:58:09
Carl
And on the other.

00:22:58:09 - 00:22:59:03
Riley
Side, delicious.

00:22:59:03 - 00:23:09:08
Carl
And on the other side of that wall, we the woman's wall of shame. For when they think you're hitting on the roses. You do. That's what we should. We should create a bar called the Wall of Shame or.

00:23:09:17 - 00:23:11:07
Riley
Have a wall every just like everyone.

00:23:11:07 - 00:23:12:04
Carl
Has a different shame.

00:23:13:12 - 00:23:22:08
Riley
We have a Polaroid camera that looks so like on the bottom. You would take a picture of them and then write why they deserve to be on the wall of shame. And then you take it up. Yeah, You should be.

00:23:22:22 - 00:23:27:20
Gnome
Like the shoplifter wall. All right, Awesome tips.

00:23:28:04 - 00:23:29:03
Riley
$0.

00:23:29:17 - 00:23:33:09
Carl
Well, so you pass the test, You.

00:23:33:10 - 00:23:37:06
Gnome
Know, I thought.

00:23:37:06 - 00:23:38:13
Riley
I was hitting on her husband.

00:23:39:19 - 00:23:44:12
Carl
They tipped only 18 and a half percent of best.

00:23:44:12 - 00:23:46:21
Gnome
Well, it's you to add something extra in the jury.

00:23:48:16 - 00:23:50:11
Carl
They told me to make it old fashioned.

00:23:50:19 - 00:23:54:13
Riley
Once in Wisconsin. Old fashioned, but aspirin. Old fashioned. Then you got mad, right?

00:23:55:18 - 00:24:07:15
Carl
Yeah. Okay. So you probably I mean, you're out of rum. You're out of rum distillery. I mean, do you guys do you make biannual fashions down there? Do you even, like, even come or do you only do, like, rum cocktails?

00:24:07:18 - 00:24:25:19
Gnome
We all can do rum cocktails. Even if we look like a bar. We're technically a tasting room. So we do rum old fashioned, which is always a fun time perception. Sure. Now, with the big thing is daiquiris is people like I had a bachelor party come in and they're like, Hey, I want five daiquiris. And it's like, Oh, the traditional.

00:24:25:19 - 00:24:41:00
Gnome
Yes. And they're like, Yes, that's what we want. Of course we want the traditional. So I shake up the drinks right, right out and I hand it to them and they go, Well, when are you going to freeze it? And I said, Oh, no. I said, I'm not a bad man. Zillionaire.

00:24:41:16 - 00:24:48:18
Riley
This is your blender.

00:24:50:06 - 00:24:52:19
Carl
This is an Applebee's motherfucker. Yeah.

00:24:53:03 - 00:25:05:15
Gnome
Then why should we make it like we make I like I did the John Stafford smile. I say, Yes, I did. Well, we were going to freeze. They were jerks.

00:25:05:23 - 00:25:16:16
Riley
They were jerks. Not for that. But later in the day, right? Well, yeah, that was just a start to a bad day.

00:25:16:16 - 00:25:17:10
Gnome
Bastards.

00:25:18:15 - 00:25:29:18
Riley
I love that. Oh. Oh, you want the traditional. Yeah, yeah, I want the traditional. Well, this is what I want. And I ask you, if you don't know, then don't be mad at me.

00:25:30:18 - 00:25:36:19
Gnome
And it was. Of course, I want the traditional way, right? Why are you asking me this dumb question? Right?

00:25:38:10 - 00:25:43:01
Carl
They saw you do it at one time or.

00:25:43:01 - 00:25:43:04
Gnome
Oh.

00:25:44:05 - 00:25:56:23
Carl
Well, congratulations. You pass the test. You are not the asshole of this story that you gave us today. Even though you probably find a you can probably figure out a way that you were the asshole for that phrase in a different way.

00:25:57:01 - 00:26:06:16
Gnome
Coconut. It's should be. It's. It's like the South Park. Like, do you like fish sticks? You know what?

00:26:07:08 - 00:26:25:03
Carl
Maybe. Okay. Maybe he just watched. What's that movie with those friends that used to, like, go out in the middle of woods and play bro games and they didn't do it for like, five years. Has Nick Swardson in it and Josh Amell, we watched him. And so when you wound up.

00:26:25:03 - 00:26:26:22
Riley
Well, no, no, no.

00:26:27:08 - 00:26:46:05
Carl
Anyways, there's this movie that we watched and these guys go out in the middle of woods and do like these bro games to see who is the best bro. And anyways, this guy gets them back and he makes them all pina coladas. But some guy like.

00:26:46:19 - 00:26:48:15
Riley
A coconut.

00:26:48:15 - 00:26:59:06
Carl
You know, he jerked off and put it all in the pina coladas and they're like, Oh, this is like the creamiest pina colada that I've had. And then he tells them that you just jerked off and all. Woman Whatever, like that.

00:26:59:06 - 00:27:02:08
Gnome
So yeah, so, so maybe.

00:27:02:08 - 00:27:13:03
Carl
He just, maybe he just saw that movie and was like, oh, you know, you look up Nick Swardson movies.

00:27:13:03 - 00:27:13:09
Gnome
But.

00:27:14:09 - 00:27:21:13
Carl
So yeah, I don't know, maybe so, but yeah, it's Anyways, let's go 1 to 5. What do you give your own story?

00:27:21:13 - 00:27:44:13
Gnome
I would say a 3.5 because it didn't escalate but it was funny and unique, right. Like there was that escalation to it. He just didn't want to talk to me because he thought I was gay. Dick But yeah, but it's interesting enough to be like, Wow, when you're shitty person, you do look like an asshole.

00:27:44:13 - 00:27:50:18
Riley
That's like karma coming back around like your shit and everybody knows it now. Yeah, I can't hide.

00:27:50:22 - 00:28:12:07
Carl
I mean, it's funny that you are. They always have another bartender. They can go to someone else and talk to that person, right? Like the bar I work at. It's only me. They have to deal with me if they want to keep having drinks. And so like that. But I see I'll give it a 2.20 dude, 2.5 is overreaction for it.

00:28:12:07 - 00:28:15:06
Carl
And then going to the other bartender and complaining.

00:28:15:09 - 00:28:28:05
Riley
Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to split the difference and go three because it's not often that you get that big of a reaction, but men who are that fragile are common.

00:28:29:02 - 00:28:29:11
Gnome
Yeah.

00:28:29:11 - 00:28:34:12
Riley
So like the aggressive overreaction is what seals the three for me.

00:28:34:12 - 00:28:50:05
Carl
Yeah. Yeah. So the name of the movie that was referencing is called Buddy Games. It's got Kevin Dillon, Josh Duhamel. Duhamel, Duhamel, DAX Shepard, Nick Sport Swardson And then, yeah, it's a stupid movie. It's not that great but like it's.

00:28:50:12 - 00:28:54:17
Riley
But it's pretty funny. It's funny if it was worth hung over morning to watch right.

00:28:54:17 - 00:28:55:09
Carl
Exactly.

00:28:55:22 - 00:28:56:08
Gnome
So.

00:28:57:20 - 00:29:14:23
Carl
So I think we didn't even mention yeah I did mention that you do have a YouTube channel. It's called Gnomes Tavern. Well, I was gonna say plug it. What I just did for you. Which what's the name of the story? They work because, I mean, obviously you're definitely be the first guest that has somewhere where people actually go.

00:29:15:06 - 00:29:17:12
Carl
People go to New Orleans all the time. Right?

00:29:17:12 - 00:29:24:12
Gnome
So, yeah. So it's called Happy Raptor Distillery. And I actually have. So here's our banana foster one. Okay.

00:29:24:13 - 00:29:25:15
Riley
Oh, my God. I want that.

00:29:26:17 - 00:29:48:13
Gnome
Yeah. So we're after distillery. We are a rum infusion, so we make a bunch of rounds and we throw wild stuff in it and see and make cool products acts here, right on the parade route and. Right. We're not in this directly in the city of New Orleans, so we need a break from the city somewhere to be in New Orleans or a great spot.

00:29:48:19 - 00:29:51:23
Carl
Cool. Nice, awesome. You guys open? Where are your hours?

00:29:51:23 - 00:30:01:23
Gnome
Usually we're usually 12 to 7, Monday through Friday, I mean, Monday through Saturday, Sunday. But on the weekends we are. But we stay open a little bit later. Cool.

00:30:02:02 - 00:30:08:18
Carl
So you are open seven days a week, I guess. I guess in New Orleans you kind of have to, right? Because people just kind of like to get fucked up whenever.

00:30:09:05 - 00:30:14:12
Riley
So it's like it's like the city that never sleeps, but it's a city that's never sober, right?

00:30:14:23 - 00:30:15:10
Gnome
Yeah.

00:30:16:02 - 00:30:18:17
Carl
Anything else you want to plug in? Have people go check out?

00:30:19:03 - 00:30:34:21
Gnome
Yeah, just check me out on Instagram and YouTube. We are. We are writing a book. I'm a million book. Hopefully will be out in December. So we'll keep you posted on that. Just follow the Instagram and you'll get a nice.

00:30:35:12 - 00:30:41:12
Carl
Awesome will. Thanks for joining us. And just remember everyone, don't be a dick. Tip your bartenders and drink responsibly.