Do You Want to Start a Tab?

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:16:05
Carl
Everyone in the service industry has a story. Crazy customers, wild orders and WTF moments. Do you want to start a tab? The podcast here to bring you those tales from beyond the bar. My name is Carl. I've been a bartender for almost 11 years now. I have some tales, have some stories I want to share.

00:00:16:07 - 00:00:25:14
Riley
I'm really I enjoy sitting at a bar and I like to watch the stories unfold. I do have some experience, but not enough to be noteworthy.

00:00:26:03 - 00:00:30:12
Carl
Noteworthy enough to if I need batch margaritas, I know what girl I'm going to call.

00:00:30:21 - 00:00:32:11
Riley
Yeah.

00:00:32:11 - 00:00:58:20
Carl
So what we do is we sometimes have guests. Sometimes we don't. And this is that time. We do not at the moment, but we pick off stories from Reddit or other Internet locations, outlets and read them to you and give you our feedback. We will tell you if we think the guest or the bartender is an asshole. And then we rate it on a scale of 1 to 5 being an average story or a uniquely or a unique odd story.

00:00:59:04 - 00:01:19:12
Carl
We like to enjoy beverages while we do this, and today, since it's only one in the afternoon and we both have to work. Yes, we were doing a couple of nonalcoholic drinks. Same as last episode. We we're doing these back to back to s'mores, Dark Brew from down from Untold Art out of Wisconsin. Yes. And yummy.

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Riley
Yes, it is.

00:01:20:15 - 00:01:40:07
Carl
Let's go ahead and just roll with the punches. I'll go ahead and start if you're okay with that. This is from Bart, the Subreddit Bartender Stories from User in Famous Potato 3198. Infamous Infamous potato. Infamous potato 318 from 32 days ago. So this.

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Riley
Is our.

00:01:41:05 - 00:02:00:11
Carl
Fresh loins. Fresh potato. Thank you. And so this one. Okay. I just kind of glide through this, and it just seemed like this is more of like a has a question to ask. And since I'm a bartender. Right. I like to answer that question for him or them. I don't know if it's it he or she or whoever.

00:02:01:00 - 00:02:18:12
Carl
Soliciting tips. Here's. Okay, this is soliciting tips. I am probably going to get some haters here, but I need some feedback. I've been doing this for a while, 15 years. I know how to make the classics and I work at a good place and I work at a good pace. I work in New York City for various for various catering companies.

00:02:18:22 - 00:02:41:17
Carl
I make a flat $25 an hour tip jars basically not permitted. And if we are given a tip, we are supposed to put it away quickly. Here's the situation why I am at breaking point and why am I pushing the absolute boundaries of what is considered appropriate. Employee parties during the holidays are super crazy. People are drinking nonstop and mostly not tipping, and we are getting the same fucking rate when we are killing ourselves.

00:02:42:04 - 00:02:59:11
Carl
Here's what I've been doing. Guy in a suit orders in all fashion. He gets asked for which whiskey, bourbon or rye, extra cube or sweetness or not double or single. He comes back again, orders a manhattan. Loves it on the third. I say, if you could help us out with a couple of bucks, that would be great. And this is actually working.

00:02:59:21 - 00:03:15:01
Carl
We have been trained not to do this, but you know what? Not That is a major accomplishment compared to most guys doing this in catering. I actually take pride in my craft. I really like making good, solid drinks. You would not believe it, but there was a guy the other day who thought in old fashion you had vermouth in it.

00:03:15:08 - 00:03:32:14
Carl
What am I doing? Could backfire. Sure, I could get a compliment. Or I could get a complaint and be told to leave the building. First thing is, I'm not going after everybody with this. Usually it's the men I ask and not women. And it's always people who have come back to me. And at the end of the night, it really almost is 75 to 100 extra dollars.

00:03:32:14 - 00:03:42:15
Carl
And when you think about it, that is not very much concern. All the drinks I made for hundreds of people curious what people have to say. So it's kind of like a lot to unpack for sure.

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Riley
Yes.

00:03:43:12 - 00:03:48:17
Carl
I used to do this. I used to be a catering partner. That was basically my first bartending job.

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Riley
Right.

00:03:50:05 - 00:04:24:15
Carl
Model. Technically, Buffalo for that was only for like a month or two. So don't count that. But caring, partying, I did for almost six years while bargaining at a restaurant and in Iowa. It's not law, but it's common for if the bar is hosted, which means the host of the parties paying for all the alcohol. We were not allowed to put out a tip jar because we would activity to the end of the night other bill and we would split that gratuity on our paycheck with whoever worked that night.

00:04:25:10 - 00:04:36:10
Carl
And so it was explained to me, the reason why you do that is because then it feels like we are demanding money from guests when they're just there to enjoy their free time.

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Riley
Which makes sense.

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Carl
Which makes sense. But if it was a cash bar, meaning the guests have to pay for their own drinks at this party, then we sure shit we're allowed to bring out because it's a cash bar. Just a bar, basically, at the end of the day. Right. That's in Iowa. And I've only done this in Iowa, specifically eastern Iowa.

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Riley
And he's in New York.

00:04:58:04 - 00:05:10:16
Carl
He's in New York. And he gets a flat rate of $25 an hour. There's so much to start going over with this is is first of all, the whole tip thing is that.

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Riley
Your company's policy or is it illegal thing?

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Carl
Right. That's really the number one thing, right there. Right. If it's a company policy, you need to ask your boss, why is this a thing?

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Riley
Right? And if it's an issue with everybody, then they should change their policy or you should move to have the policy changed.

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Carl
Right, Because it's $25 an hour. Living in New York is probably like us making $12 an hour here in Iowa.

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Riley
Like you can do it, but it's like, Yeah.

00:05:41:20 - 00:05:51:03
Carl
So there's that. You know, obviously the companies, it's probably going to align with the whole we're charging gratuity to this host, right? And we don't want to make our guests feel right.

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Riley
And if and if they are charging gratuity, then you should see that right.

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Carl
And not getting paid just a flat rate of 20.

00:05:57:21 - 00:06:08:05
Riley
Dollars an hour. Right. So that would be that would be a big no no on the company side. If they're charging gratuity, which should go to the bartenders and servers.

00:06:08:10 - 00:06:20:16
Carl
So I'll stop you right there. Now, I've said it from the beginning. The story is it's actually not gratuity that these companies charge. And since it's they don't specifically say the word gratuity, they don't have to give it out as.

00:06:20:16 - 00:06:21:04
Riley
A service.

00:06:21:04 - 00:06:34:21
Carl
Or service charge. Right. And it's what we do at the fucking hotel. And what I bitch about all the time. I go, you guys, I go if you told your pay. Okay. So what I mean by all of this is you're going to see your bill for, let's say, $10,000.

00:06:34:21 - 00:06:35:20
Riley
That's a big number.

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Carl
But just math to make mix easy. So if you see your bill for $10,000 and it says gratuity for 2000, which is standard 20%, then that is telling everyone or I'm sorry, that is that you're putting yourself in a situation where that gratuity is going towards all the people that worked, that event, all the servers, cocktail servers, waitresses, bartenders, whoever, whoever worked at catering event, it's going to go towards them.

00:07:02:22 - 00:07:10:05
Carl
If you put what's known as a service charge on there, people who pay that bill still, they still think that that's a gratuity.

00:07:10:14 - 00:07:11:17
Riley
But it's not.

00:07:12:03 - 00:07:18:23
Carl
It's not going to sit with the companies going to do is they keep a percentage of that and then they divide the rest out to that.

00:07:19:05 - 00:07:20:16
Riley
Based on what they see for.

00:07:20:17 - 00:07:31:23
Carl
What they see fit. So that's probably what's happened in all of these, is that it's a service charge, not a gratuity. Right. And I fucking tell people, if you tell these fucking people that it's not, that's what you're doing it, they're all going to be pissed off.

00:07:32:08 - 00:07:38:14
Riley
Right. Because if you, if you think you're paying for a service charge, you think that means you're going to pay to your servers.

00:07:38:14 - 00:07:40:08
Carl
The server, those people who provided.

00:07:40:15 - 00:07:42:09
Riley
The people who served you something.

00:07:42:13 - 00:08:00:09
Carl
So anyways, that's that's that's horror podcast. Right? So that's, that's how it is where I work. I'm going to assume that's a standard through the United States type thing, right. When it comes to catering events, what am I going out this? So I'm just getting a flat rate of $25. So that means I guarantee this company is making a killing.

00:08:00:17 - 00:08:01:14
Riley
On service charges.

00:08:01:14 - 00:08:04:16
Carl
On service charges and just charging for what they need to charge.

00:08:04:16 - 00:08:05:01
Riley
Right.

00:08:05:14 - 00:08:28:00
Carl
So my next thing is, I've never asked for tips before. And the catering side of things. Right. So. Oh, I know what I know what my next thought was going to be is how the fuck are these people going in free drinks and not throwing a 20? Right, Right. Yeah. Like I feel. Okay now. Now let's talk on the bartender side and guest experience.

00:08:28:00 - 00:08:32:10
Carl
Or the guest side. I'm sorry. These people are throwing you, making you drinks. All night long.

00:08:32:14 - 00:08:33:19
Riley
They're making you don't have a 20.

00:08:33:19 - 00:08:53:01
Carl
Four, right? Or a five or something. Like when we when you and I go to places like this is I'll usually just give a person a 20 or a ten or whatever, whatever. And like, here's us all night long for you. I'm going to do it one time, right? Because I don't want to give you a dollar as here's 20, I don't care.

00:08:53:01 - 00:08:56:16
Carl
Whatever, 20, 40, whatever it is. How are they not doing that?

00:08:57:00 - 00:08:57:22
Riley
Right? I mean.

00:08:58:22 - 00:09:01:00
Carl
Like I'm not saying everyone has to do that, but like.

00:09:01:00 - 00:09:19:00
Riley
Understand going to a wedding that's an open bar and not wanting to have to tip because you assume that's part of the the experience like. So I would understand where when you worked for winning friends, how they didn't want you to put out a tip jar. Right? It's like people who are guests shouldn't feel like they have to tip.

00:09:19:02 - 00:09:24:23
Riley
Right. I understand that I'm not that person. I still want to give you a tip. I'm still going to have cash in my pocket for you.

00:09:25:08 - 00:09:38:00
Carl
But but the way that helps make it seem like is like heat. No one's doing that, right? Right. Like, I get it. Like maybe like you're saying that 10% of the people aren't, like, throwing you something without even begging for it or asking for that Begging.

00:09:38:00 - 00:10:00:21
Riley
Asking for it. My thing is like, I understand Opie being frustrated with what he makes, but that's an issue that you don't talk to the customers about or the or the get right about. You need to talk to your managers. You need to talk to the company. Yeah. Or if they're not going to change that or if they're not going to make it, if they're not going to explain to you what's happening, then you need to not work there anymore.

00:10:00:21 - 00:10:06:04
Riley
Like if you if you take pride in your work, if you take pride in the drinks that you make, go work at a bar that's going to tip.

00:10:06:04 - 00:10:10:00
Carl
You, right? You live in New York City, man. There's tons of cocktail bars you.

00:10:10:05 - 00:10:12:15
Riley
Do dive bar and make more than $25 an.

00:10:12:15 - 00:10:15:11
Carl
Hour. And I get you know, it's probably comfy.

00:10:15:20 - 00:10:21:16
Riley
Comfy and because it's catering and he makes a flat wage, he might get benefits which is right Which.

00:10:22:00 - 00:10:40:00
Carl
Right There's yeah I'm I am a good I am one of those people if you don't like where are you fucking working at. If it's that miserable go find a fucking new job. Right. And this is 32 days ago. In the past three years it, the service industry has to widen up to where you can go work over the fuck you want to.

00:10:40:05 - 00:10:43:21
Carl
But it might not be maybe that you might. You might not be able to work at employees only.

00:10:44:03 - 00:10:44:11
Riley
Right.

00:10:44:12 - 00:10:49:22
Carl
Or PD or PDT or something like that. But there is plenty of crap bars out there that are looking for.

00:10:49:22 - 00:10:54:21
Riley
Employees of hotel bars that need somebody to make good old fashioned, a good Manhattan, a good class. Which is why.

00:10:55:01 - 00:10:59:03
Carl
If you can do all that you have, you have a resume to where you can go wherever you want.

00:10:59:04 - 00:11:00:23
Riley
Right? You can. I mean, are you the.

00:11:00:23 - 00:11:01:14
Carl
Only to.

00:11:01:14 - 00:11:10:04
Riley
Be in an elite bar? Maybe not, but are you going to make money? Yeah. And like, if if right now, what you're worried about is making tips and you're worried about making money.

00:11:10:11 - 00:11:33:22
Carl
Yeah, exactly. And that. And that stresses you out. That puts there's so much psychological things when it comes to like, if you're just worried about I need to make $500 a night like, you know like there there is studies and I and I believe that that puts a lot of stress on you. Then that that manifests right into you, the customer experience and all this other stuff.

00:11:33:22 - 00:12:02:02
Carl
So to wrap this up as we talk about this is there's a lot of things unpack here, but I think this is needed to be talked about because it falls into I don't think you should be asking people for money, especially when it's this if you're at a bar. If I was at my bar and this guy, I made a guy five drinks and he said they were all amazing and he's paying me per drink and he's only tipping me like 5%, I would say, Then it is okay to say, Is there something else I could do for you?

00:12:02:03 - 00:12:15:05
Carl
Like it might not providing like a great customer experience for you but don't talk about don't you? Right. He's paying you like you don't say you take me like a cheap bastard would just say like, is there something else I could be doing to, like, make your night even better?

00:12:15:06 - 00:12:31:18
Riley
Right. Because that shows that one you're not like, Look, I know you're not tipping me, but, like, you know, what is that about my demeanor or my interactions with you that are making you be a cheap asshole?

00:12:32:13 - 00:12:44:21
Carl
Because I do date money that touches touchy subject with no matter what class you are in. In my class. I mean, like, are you, you know, you know, like how much money you make or write on the paper shit.

00:12:45:02 - 00:12:53:11
Riley
Well, and I mean in tipping isn't antiquated system and like making a flat making a flat wage.

00:12:53:19 - 00:12:54:02
Carl
You know.

00:12:54:15 - 00:13:19:16
Riley
Is the ideal, right? Because you would know how much you're going to take home every day. You're going to be it's basically having a salary. And a lot of countries do that. America just doesn't because income tax making a flat wage would be a good situation if you were making your worth. If you were making a living wage, then it comes down to a higher right, a higher overarching issue.

00:13:20:09 - 00:13:41:21
Carl
Right. Sorry. There's a lot of comments where people are saying so. So I'm trying to read like the OP is very responsive to everyone's thoughts about this. I'm just trying to see if I can read one. So if someone says solicit those tips, I work in Europe for £10 hourly or €10 hourly, it's not enough to survive. Okay, let me make one more thought before I read this.

00:13:42:19 - 00:13:49:02
Carl
You agreed to what you got paid before you started the fucking job. You knew what you're going to get paid. You knew how it worked.

00:13:49:02 - 00:13:55:17
Riley
And if you didn't, then you should. You taking that job, They have to tell you what you're going to make when you get hired. You can choose, not show up for your first day.

00:13:55:17 - 00:14:14:03
Carl
And there might be circumstances where he just needed he just needed this job right away. And I get all that. But again, we live in a time where you can go do what the fuck you want to anymore, so. Okay. So anyways, solicit those tips. I worked in Europe for ten years hourly. It's not enough to survive. OP, Thanks for the support.

00:14:14:03 - 00:14:41:15
Carl
Now Update Tipping depends on the clientele. Example Saturday night 400 people equals eight bartenders. Super high volume like a nightclub. Solicit solicited safely with only those I mean special drinks are aged ten people tips $100 ended at 130 Sunday night 200 people six bartenders sit down. Dinner did practically nothing. Everybody was respectful. $40 ended at 1030. I got 20 for getting a copy.

00:14:41:15 - 00:15:00:09
Carl
Oh, and by the way, it was cold and he did not care. Why do we depend on so few people to help us out? It is always like 5% that carry us again. That goes to situational bartending and events. There were times where we would do these events. It was a sit down, right? And I just made a couple of jack and Cokes.

00:15:00:22 - 00:15:17:22
Carl
It is what it is, man. Right. But then again, I mean, different situation where people would tip me no matter what, if there was no tip jar there, like which tip jar? Like I'm not I would say I'm not allowed to have one out, but I won't say no. Right. And people just laughed and they threw me money and we just had stacks of money.

00:15:18:13 - 00:15:24:14
Carl
But at the end of the day, I hate to keep reading. You're choosing to keep working here, right?

00:15:24:15 - 00:15:40:06
Riley
If it's not enough or if you feel like you need to go somewhere that is going to give you the tips that you need, you're going to it's a gamble because in this job you're making $25 an hour flight, which you might not make if you go work a job that you can get tips freely.

00:15:40:07 - 00:15:47:04
Carl
If you have 15 years of bar experience in New York City and you can make all the classics and probably more, you have a wide open recipe.

00:15:47:04 - 00:15:49:10
Riley
So right. You can go work somewhere that's going to give you.

00:15:49:10 - 00:15:56:19
Carl
A good tip, you know? So for story wise, a one, Yeah. I mean, this is kind of this is kind of different than what we're kind of there's no asshole in this.

00:15:56:19 - 00:16:04:14
Riley
Group, honestly. I think I think the Opie is kind of an asshole, not because he's an asshole, but because he's entitled to title.

00:16:04:14 - 00:16:06:10
Carl
It's what he deserves.

00:16:06:10 - 00:16:15:21
Riley
Correct. Which I'm not saying he doesn't deserve that. I'm saying he's entitled when he wants everybody to bend to him to get what he wants instead of going to find what he wants, right?

00:16:16:14 - 00:16:26:03
Carl
Yes. So, okay, I do want three. See you. You explain what I'm thinking. And that's why we're a match made in Dubuque, Iowa.

00:16:27:02 - 00:16:52:15
Riley
Cedar Rapids, Iowa. Yeah, that's true. He said 1313. I had 1.1 because this is this is like most of the bartenders I know you have a lot of bartenders. I know you have to lanes. Yeah, you have. I'm here to provide a good experience and tips coming is great and I know the better experience I give them, the more likely am to make more money.

00:16:52:18 - 00:17:09:05
Riley
You know the you bartenders and then there are bartenders who are like, Oh, I'm just here. I need to make my money. Bah bah bah bah bah. And you can tell that they're just here to make money. They don't really care about customer experience. And they if they do care about customer experience, it's because they're putting on a face to make the money right?

00:17:09:09 - 00:17:24:10
Carl
A He seems like he's between the two. He's a middle ground. But again, that's all. It's all he's he's explain himself. So that's all we're stuck with now. We're just assuming, right? So I think it does. Come on. I've been doing this for 15 years. Why am I not making more like, why are you paying me more?

00:17:25:02 - 00:17:28:01
Riley
That's a problem. You know, go make more money somewhere else.

00:17:28:01 - 00:17:40:09
Carl
I mean, good luck for you. But the infinite emptiness potato, infamous, infamous potato guy. I hope you get what you want. Maybe move, maybe move out of New York City. So she didn't cost you 4000 goddamn.

00:17:40:12 - 00:17:42:12
Riley
$25 an hour. Here, let me.

00:17:42:14 - 00:17:48:21
Carl
I make I make. After tips. Last year, 2022, I made 30 and a half dollars. $3.5.

00:17:48:21 - 00:17:59:15
Riley
Yeah, but like, when when you when you put it into perspective, if $25 an hour that way, you'd have to work like less than a week to pay our mortgage, you know?

00:17:59:18 - 00:18:31:01
Carl
So yeah, if you have a story you want to share with us, go to us. Our subreddit. Do you want to start a tab will be the link is in the description of any platform or you're listening to or watching this. We do have all the socials, Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, shoot us a DM if you want to share, share your story in there or if you are a bartender, current or past, and have a lovely story that you would like to talk about with Riley and I on our podcast, Reach Out, We are more than willing to have you on and have some fun.

00:18:31:05 - 00:18:35:10
Riley
We have extra seats right here if you are local. Otherwise we can you can call in.

00:18:35:15 - 00:18:39:06
Carl
Doesn't call. Yeah. So. All right. Right. You got a story? I do a quick one.

00:18:39:07 - 00:18:40:06
Riley
It is a quick one. Quicky.

00:18:41:17 - 00:18:47:06
Carl
It's from This is a shot. What, like a shot Quick. Yeah, they got.

00:18:47:23 - 00:18:53:14
Riley
It's from bartender stories. Read it eight years ago. Ooh, years. I went for rec, man.

00:18:53:14 - 00:18:55:00
Carl
That's like relationship.

00:18:55:08 - 00:19:21:03
Riley
From tiny donkey for he told an epic tale. It's called Stupid students. Okay, so here we go. The nightclub I used to tend bar and it was starting to go under. They were losing money fast because the normal 30 year old regulars were being scared off by a rough and messy crowd who had started to frequent the place.

00:19:21:03 - 00:19:41:08
Riley
The rough crowd rarely spent the kind of money the old regulars used to spend. So in an attempt to get a bit of cash, the management decided to run a few student nights. And drunk students are stupid. Yeah, so I'm tending bar in the private bar area, which we've opened because the place is so busy. I've got a bar that's only about two meters long.

00:19:41:15 - 00:20:01:20
Riley
It's like this table and but it's completely packed. So I've moved all my spirits from the speed rail to the back bar. The only bottles left in the speed rail are the vodka bottles I had filled with cordials. I saw the idiot do it out of the corner of my eye. He grabbed a lime cordial and ran with two of his friends.

00:20:01:20 - 00:20:22:07
Riley
Love it, Love it. I didn't even try to stop him. Just got the attention of the security and pointed at him. The doorman brought the thief and his friends to the bar and called the manager up. We tried not to lose our shit laughing, but told the guys that they were responsible for paying anything that they steal. They were freaking out until we charged them €5 for the bottle of cordial.

00:20:22:12 - 00:20:28:01
Riley
Then the look on their face when they realized how stupid they were, it was absolutely priceless.

00:20:28:07 - 00:20:31:17
Carl
So the juice wasn't worth the squeeze.

00:20:31:17 - 00:20:38:11
Riley
You were waiting? Yeah. I was reading to say that, you idiot.

00:20:38:11 - 00:20:49:08
Carl
Oh, my God. Like, you know, he's busy, but, yeah, man, like, I never. I mean, I feel weird when I try to, like, reach over the bar to get, like, the gun to fill my water back up.

00:20:49:12 - 00:20:50:14
Riley
Yeah, I don't do that.

00:20:50:14 - 00:20:50:22
Carl
Yeah.

00:20:50:22 - 00:20:52:09
Riley
Don't know. You're working. Yeah.

00:20:53:03 - 00:20:57:07
Carl
It was working Things into.

00:20:57:07 - 00:20:58:14
Riley
Your clothes, and there's nobody there.

00:20:58:17 - 00:21:05:01
Carl
Right? That'd be. That's hilarious. You just working out the corner? I see some dipshit. Think they're still involved. Vodka.

00:21:05:07 - 00:21:05:16
Riley
Right.

00:21:05:17 - 00:21:15:03
Carl
So. Okay, so either they're so drunk or they're just doing it like it's a lime cordial. So it's green is it's it's tinted some color, but it's dark.

00:21:15:03 - 00:21:18:00
Riley
I mean, but like, it could be pucker, right?

00:21:18:11 - 00:21:19:08
Carl
It's true.

00:21:19:10 - 00:21:36:05
Riley
Like a it could be something that had booze in it, just like a pre-mixed cocktail or something. It's just it's it's a student. He doesn't know what it is. He's just grabbing something because he thinks it's booze and he wants it for free. Look what I'm going to do. Steven. Roger. Guys, I only got. I only got two years left.

00:21:36:05 - 00:21:39:00
Riley
I can afford another drink. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I got you. I got you. Got you.

00:21:40:03 - 00:21:54:13
Carl
Look good. What the fuck? Oh, my God. So, yes, that's the part of bartenders. It's like, what the fuck did I say? Witness? Like, Jesus Christ, you morons.

00:21:54:13 - 00:22:06:17
Riley
I mean, smart. Move on the bartender, though, for moving all of the the rail booze to the back bar and putting just chordal pieces like, that's. That's genius because it's a student, you know, somebody's going to be stupid and try to do something.

00:22:06:19 - 00:22:24:17
Carl
That in place is probably making a bunch of shit, right? That's all he's making is vodka. Vodka doesn't get much in common. Causes in whatever. Right. So that's funny. Were the kids s I mean, yes, they stole something technically, right? Not speaking on the value of the thing they stole because that didn't. They would've been a $20 bottle.

00:22:24:23 - 00:22:26:01
Carl
Zero bottle probably.

00:22:26:03 - 00:22:28:14
Riley
Well, they would have and they would have, but they would have charge bar price.

00:22:28:17 - 00:22:38:05
Carl
Bar price. It'd be like a 100. So. Yes. Or the kids, The assholes. Absolutely. But they're like the fine asshole, right? They're like that annoying cousin at the Christmas party.

00:22:38:05 - 00:22:55:23
Riley
Right? Like if it had been if it had been an actual bottle of booze, it would have been a lot more frustrating. Mm hmm. But because it wasn't, it's just a fun story to tell. Yeah. Um, 161616. I have never seen somebody ballsy enough to know. You know.

00:22:55:23 - 00:22:59:04
Carl
What? You know, at your age, I see my number than you.

00:22:59:04 - 00:23:01:14
Riley
So I'm going to go like, two seven.

00:23:01:15 - 00:23:02:05
Carl
I'm two to.

00:23:02:08 - 00:23:04:02
Riley
2.7 and 2.2.

00:23:04:02 - 00:23:19:05
Carl
So yeah, you're right. I've never seen. That's a that's a fucking lie. I've had people take bottled beers that I'm like, I know I was selling a bottle of beer or something. Just get them out of the cool because I'm going to I'm going to sell it here like the next 5 minutes, right? Fucking people take that off me.

00:23:19:06 - 00:23:27:13
Carl
Like, just charge it. Like they're just preserving themselves and telling me to put it on their tab. Like, do. Come on, man. Like, how this works.

00:23:27:18 - 00:23:29:02
Riley
That's a wild. Well.

00:23:29:10 - 00:23:30:12
Carl
I drunk people.

00:23:30:13 - 00:23:36:15
Riley
People like that. It's like, where are your parents? Like, who taught you how to function?

00:23:36:16 - 00:23:40:10
Carl
Their fucking parent discipline?

00:23:40:10 - 00:24:00:18
Riley
Who taught you how to function in society? And what makes you think that's okay? That's that's the entire that's the entire theme behind this podcast is like, what makes you think that what your actions are, you know, is acceptable within society? How do you how can you believe that you are a functioning member of society when you do shit like this?

00:24:00:18 - 00:24:05:13
Carl
Yeah, it's fucking crazy. So yeah, don't steal fucking bottles.

00:24:06:02 - 00:24:13:15
Riley
Remember? Don't get too drunk, Don't berate people and if you don't like your job, get move on.

00:24:14:02 - 00:24:29:18
Carl
Yeah, move on. We live in a time. Move on. Try something new. Put on a new pair of socks. It's okay. It is fucking okay. It is okay to buy the new clothing. Intend to get some new jobs, crusty, you motherfucker.

00:24:29:18 - 00:24:37:22
Riley
Says you who's wearing your vans? Your shoes are 15 years old. They still work and.

00:24:40:18 - 00:24:44:02
Carl
Don't be a dick. Tip your bartender. Drink responsibly.

00:24:44:03 - 00:24:44:16
Riley
You got it.